“I wish I had the confidence to wear that!” If I had a penny for every time someone’s said this to me, I’d own a palace, living the real 101 dalmatians and shaming the mad hatters tea party everyday with luxurious, decedent, vegan treats. I’ve heard this phrase even more so since blogging and every time these words are said, my stomach sinks. Often times this is coming from a body confidence issue and other times it is that they are worried of being judged. Unfortunately, this results in wearing clothes that aren’t “them”, just so they can fit in – and that’s a real shame, isn’t it?
Of course, there are dress codes and turning up in a short sequin dress and 5-inch heels for an office job interview is most likely inappropriate and impractical. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t wear something that caters to a style you love- something that’s a little out ‘there’- which you both adore and would work for an interview.
We all need to stop being so focused on our own insecurities and what others will think. We should be able to wear what we want and feel comfortable in our own decisions. Here are my tips on achieving confidence in what you wear and some important things to consider…
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Do what makes you happy
Happiness is the most important thing. It might seem a little heavy but consider this: the fundamental reason why happiness is so important is that it’s extremely vital to our own goals in life and can help us achieve cherished personal ambitions. When a person is happy, they have the the potential to change the lives of others just by being themselves and as they have nurtured their happiness first, they then have the ability to project this onto others and make the world a better place. If what you wear is causing unhappiness, then this needs to be addressed and should be taken with serious importance.
Whilst it is fun to follow trends or read magazines telling you what to wear, it should only be taken with a pinch of salt. (A very small pinch that is so minuscule, an ant would look like Godzilla in comparison.) The true purpose of this is to make you a consistent consumer whom buys in to the latest trends by playing on your fears and insecurities. Translation: money, money, money. There is no ‘right’ way to dress and you should never make yourself miserable, in order to please others. Whether this be according to what the fashion industry says, your friends, your family or your partner. Make a vow to stop caring about what anyone else thinks and wear what makes you feel good.
Take ownership of your feelings
Sometimes I feel like a broken record with the amount of times I say this but it’s clearly not being said enough; the only opinion that truly matters is the one that you have of yourself. In the end, following the expectations of others will only limit our experiences in life.
When we care too much about what others think, we cheat ourselves out of a better life and the story we’re telling the world isn’t half as endearing as the one that lives inside us.
It’s time to live the story that is desperate to break through you, to listen to your inner voice instead of the ones outside that don’t even belong to you! This means taking control of the feelings you have and understanding that you are responsible of your own emotions. If you “feel” fat, that’s because you’re making yourself feel that way — other people can say it, but they can’t control how you feel about it. Instead, choose to feel confident and sexy in what you wear and the effects will be amazing.
You’re already beautiful
Here’s something to think about; what if you are already beautiful and the outfit is just helping you shine even more? You are the belle of the ball, the glass slipper is just projecting your quirky, extra personality.
Nothing makes you more beautiful than being totally and completely yourself, and this includes what you choose to wear.
Unfortunately, women as a general group are guilty of spending too much time tearing other women down. We’re all beautiful in our own way and not only do we need to remember that but to remind each other too. How about instead of snickering at the girl who wore fluffy stilettos, understand that we all have different styles and commend her on her courage to stand out from the crowd.
If you see someone wearing something which has caught your eye, throw a compliment their way. I can guarantee you, it will make their day. Even as a confident woman myself whom has never looked for validation from others- particularly in what she wears- was touched to have so many people compliment my outfit during this photo shoot. I even had a cute group of elderly ladies who asked if it was my birthday because I was ‘dressed up’, I told them that it didn’t have to be my birthday to wear a pretty dress, they smiled and agreed.
The point is we are all beautiful, original beings who have individual styles which should be celebrated not ridiculed.
Fashion is an art-form. It may not seem like that when you walk down the high street but take a sneaky peak into the catwalk- where all the high street clothes are designed from- and you’ll see what I mean. Just like any form of art, there are critiques judging what you paint on the canvas. Not everyone’s supposed to ‘get it’, that’s never the point. It’s just supposed to make them feel something (hopefully nothing terrible!) and for the painter to feel satisfied in expressing themselves. If someone doesn’t like what you wear, why should it matter? You are doing this for you.
As a freedom-loving soul,I really enjoy surprising people with something unexpected and unapproved. It’s so empowering to throw everyone else’s advice and opinions to the wind and just wear whatever the hell you want. In fact, it’s can be a great way to gain confidence as you’re riding on a euphoric cloud and have an epiphany that peoples opinions really don’t matter! Try it — you just might love it.
You only live once
If you somehow missed the little trend 6 years ago, YOLO stands for you only live once. Whilst I don’t condone jumping off a cliff into the sea a good ‘YOLO’ moment, wearing whatever you want is a great way to practice the movement. Life is short, so why waste your precious time and energy worrying about being judged?
If I’m ever having a moment of doubt, whether this be wearing what I want or saying ‘yes’ to a new opportunity, I think about what I would say if I came back from the future as an 80 year-old woman. The answer I fall up on is usually ‘go for it!’ All my life, I have been surrounded by people older than myself, who hold too many life regrets and talk about the things they wish they had done. I don’t want to be one of those people who looks back and says ‘I wish I had done that’, I want to be able to say ‘I did that’.
Ironically most of these regrets that people seem to hold are rooted from fears of being judged or lack of confidence. Personally, I don’t want to look back ten years from now and say that I was so fearful of being judged, of wasting my energy on peoples irrelevant opinions, that I didn’t even do something as simple as wear what I wanted. Do you?
Wear whatever the hell you want, you’ll be happier for it.