Being raised in a household full of unhappy adults, regrets, disappointments and a very warped sense of the word ‘love’, I found myself growing up with a very strong sense of what I didn’t ever want my life to become. Those difficult first eighteen years of my life resulted in me being very focused of who I wanted to become and the life I wanted to lead.
This life is full of healthy relationships; no abuse, lies or manipulation just love and respect. It is also full of seizing the moment, being realistic but with a belief that things which may seem out of reach, only require the right tools to build a ladder long enough. To me, A rewarding life, consist of pouring my heart and soul in to everything, otherwise what’s the point? It is fruitful, full of passion and self-growth, rich in success but not necessarily money, and with more good days than bad. Since putting my thoughts of living a more rewarding life into action, it’s been everything I’ve desired.
I’m not claiming to know the ‘secrets of the universe’ but over time, I have been implementing five rules to my life which has resulted in more satisfaction and a euphoric feeling that I am living the life I want. Today I am sharing these steps with you in hopes that it can help others as it has me.
There was a time in my life when I thought that love was a fantasy humans had made up to make life more bearable. Then as I slowly learnt to love myself, I realised that it wasn’t a myth, it had just been left undiscovered for the first 19 years of my life. After I met my boyfriend, Elvis, last year, this only cemented my realisation. Moreover, since we have fallen in love, a lot of things have come to light and the one that shines the brightest is to just love more.
As some who has been a workaholic and utter ‘nerd’ her whole life, career has always been on the forefront of my mind. However, since seeing first-hand what long working hours can do to someone over a decade, I’ve had a change of heart. Yes, I will always be a career-minded woman and I love working, but I don’t want that to just be what my life is solely focused on. Time waits for no one and I don’t want to look back on my life and find that I didn’t love enough. That I didn’t spend more time with my loved ones, loved the life I built with a strong affirmation or simply made kinder choices each day that had wonderful effects on anyone, even a stranger.
When you love, you become grateful of the life you have. You make better choices, leave the world in a better place and become more compassionate. You’re left with an overwhelming feeling of abundance and happiness. I think this is the foundation of living a more fulfilling life.
First, learn to love yourself. From there you have the true understanding what it is to truly love and thus, can apply it to those around you as well. This will bring forth an understanding of your own worth; to be selective with where your energy goes. For those who you decide to keep in your life, it’s important you show them how much they mean to you. Love and respect leads to quality relationships, which are the only ones worth having.
Notice the messages
Life is constantly giving us messages to remind us of where we are but for the most part, we don’t even notice their delivery. (It’s like the postman has drank some invisibility potion.) In order to live a more fulfilling life, it is in your best interest to adhere the universes clues and pay more attention of what you need to be grateful for.
If your friend is sick, that is the universe telling you to be grateful of your own health. Even if you mightn’t be 100%, you can still practice self-care for a moment each day.
If you hear of another’s success that is your message to appreciate where you are right now, how far you’ve come and for the continuing success you expect to see.
There is always something to be grateful about and whilst your life may not be in the place you desire it to be, it is important to practice gratitude and recognise all the wonderful things you have right now. If we don’t feel grateful with what we already have, what makes us think we will be happy with more?
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Be more confident
A mere three years ago, I would be telling you that I wasn’t good enough to wear what I wanted. I was overweight and severely lacked any sort of self-confidence. Now, here I am, wearing the most incredible dress from Andrea and Leo supplied by Newyorkdress and feeling like a million dollars. I never thought that I would get to a point in my life where I would feel ‘worthy’ of wearing such an incredible piece of art. (because let’s face it, this beauty looks like it was hand-crafted by angels, threads made of the finest elvish silver, spun together, and sprinkled with pixy dust.) I used to tell myself that I couldn’t wear affordable high-end dresses such as this because I ‘didn’t have the figure for it’ AKA I didn’t fit societies impossible ‘beauty standards’. How disheartening is that? To deny myself the things that would make me happy because I couldn’t see my own beauty and allowed my insecurities and fears of being judged control me.
Confidence is a challenge but it is not impossible. There are so many opportunities and life experiences I personally missed because I was too afraid and too insecure to take them. When I noticed this and imagined all the possibilities I would miss if I didn’t take control, it was enough to start changing myself and strive towards the person I wanted to be. I still sometimes lack the confidence to do things, but I no longer let it control me and push past those negative voices. Each time I step out of my comfort zone, I become stronger, have a higher faith in myself and feel more self-assured.
Get out of your own way, take that leap of faith and use the immeasurable power you’ve been gifted with. It’s time to bring your passion back to the forefront of living, to fulfill your true potential. To applaud your awesome.
You are beautiful, worthy and strong. These are things you cannot be taught because you already are. You just need to learn to see it.
Don’t fear challenges
If you don’t leave your comfort zone, how can you expect to grow?
The truth is, everyone is scared at some point. Very rarely, will someone not falter- even for a split second- before jumping out of their comfort zone. There are always going to be voices in your head telling you ‘you can’t’, that ‘you’ll fail’ but it’s about pushing these fears into submission and taking control. The fear of challenges is often rooted to the fear of failure but it is only in mistakes, do we learn. It is important to remember that the universe is balanced. Every set back is attached to a come-back. In other words, risking failure increases the possibility of great achievement.
Coming from personal experience, I can tell you with unwavering honesty that every single thing that has made me better and my life more worth while was rooted from a leap of faith and a step out of my comfortable bubble. I would not be in love with a wonderful man right now had it not been for pushing myself out of my comfort zone. I would not have a degree or started my business nor would I have my confidence or overcome my eating disorder and self-esteem issues. I would not be wearing this beautiful dress and you wouldn’t be reading this blog. I wouldn’t be the person I am today and I certainly wouldn’t have the life I’m building. If you challenge yourself more, where could you be?
Find your purpose
Perhaps a little heavy, but no less important or fundamental for achieving a higher sense of self and living a more rewarding life. Finding what you are passionate about, your desires and the things which drive you will help you uncover your purpose in life.
Try and drop from your head to your heart. Your heart is your best tool to access your true purpose and passion. Ask yourself what it is that you love and start taking steps to do what you enjoy, instead of focusing on what your head is saying. Whilst it is good to be realistic, not following your heart and it’s desires will leave you feeling defeated and unhappy. It can also result in thinking too much, for you can’t just think your way into finding your life purpose; you have to do your way into it.
Instead of overthinking it — Will this work out? Should I try that? What if I don’t like it? What if I don’t make money at it? — Starting taking action. You will never find the things which drive you, if you don’t explore and walk a number of different paths. Most people I know, whom have found their purpose in life, accomplished their search by keeping open-minded and trying everything they could think of. You just never know for certain until you give it a go.
It is worth noting that finding your passions and the things which make you happier will never amount from pleasing others. So many people think that they know what’s good for you and with societies pressurising expectations it can be difficult to follow your own path. However, you are the one who has to live with the choices you make.
The moment I became happier was when I started seeing my life as a privilege and not something to be endured, nor to be lived to someone else’s standards, but to be lived entirely as I see fit. If I mess things up, at least it’s my mess. I make the choices. Not someone else.
Are you living the life you want to live? If not, what’s stopping you? Yourself?
*In collaboration with Andrea and Leo and NewYorkDress. This dress was gifted to me by Andrea and Leo through NewYorkDress. Please note that I will never work with a brand that I do not believe in and I will always share my honest, genuine thoughts no matter what.
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