A mere three years ago, I stood in front of the mirror with an enchanting dress on and told myself that I wasn’t allowed to wear something so beautiful. I severely lacked all confidence in myself and how I looked. This wasn’t a few insecurities. I truly felt a deep sense of worthlessness to the point that I would blow off social events and find it a challenge to leave my flat. Whilst the foundation of this is purely internal issues, which one must work on persistently. I discovered that fashion and how one dresses themselves, is an important building block to being more self-assertive.
As I continued to work on my own personal issues to build self confidence. I found myself experimenting more with my personal style and began to become more self assured in what I was wearing. I realised the true power of fashion and how to feel confident in what I wore; otherwise known as ensemble empowerment. Fast forward to today and I’ve never been more confident in what I wear, everyday.
When you get your outfit just right or find a style saviour piece, magical things happen. You feel sexier, confident and more fearless and it’s all due to what you are wearing. Whether it’s a dress that looks even better on your body than it did on the hanger or that special pair of jeans, which makes you feel like Beyoncé. Ensemble empowerment is one of the most euphoric feelings and an essential tool on the road to self-love. I’m not claiming to be an expert in the field and there are still certain areas where I lack confidence. However, I have went from hating myself and finding it a challenge to dress myself each morning. To purposely standing out from the crowd because my confidence in what I wear is unwavering.
Part of feeling confident is realising that you should really just wear whatever you want without feeling out of place or fearing judgement. This can be difficult to believe and practice. Therefore, I wanted to share my top fashion tips that will help you feel better about yourself and increase self-confidence. Here is how to achieve ensemble empowerment…
*In collaboration with Portia and Scarlett and NewYorkDress. This dress was gifted to me by Portia and Scarlett through NewYorkDress. Please note that I will never work with a brand that I do not believe in and I will always share my honest, genuine thoughts regardless.
Only invest in High Quality Clothes
It may seem generic for me to say this but it is often overlooked. Investing in high quality, well-made garments is instantly going to boost your self confidence. When you wear high quality clothes, your sense of self-worth starts to elevate because you are only putting the best on your body. It is that euphoric, excited feeling you get when you’re being treated to luxury.
When I say high quality clothes, I do not mean a price tag with an endless amount of zeros, ready to give you a heart attack at just one look. From personal experience, some of the most expensive clothes I have owned, have fallen apart in a matter of minutes. Contrariwise, some of my cheapest clothes are still sitting in my wardrobe, looking brand new, despite their constant wear. Whilst to some extent, the old saying ” you get what you pay for” does hold some truth, it is not always the case.
There are countless ways to identify high quality clothing, but a price tag is not one. Instead, look for a high content of natural fibers as they are more durable and hold their shape better. This includes cotton, linen and hemp. Synthetic blends are mostly okay, if most of the material is natural. Blended fabric lasts just as long. I would advise to stay away from animal materials as there is nothing empowering about paying someone to exploit an animal for your own pleasure.
The biggest trick to finding high quality material is feeling it for substance. If there’s a lot of fiber packed into it, regardless of how thick it is, it’s likely a high-quality fabric. I would also advise to check the stitching and construction of the garment. If the seams are not neatly finished, and the embellishments are loose (buttons, zips, buttonholes, etc.) then the clothing has been produced with little care. A small inspection on clothing will tell you all you need to know on it’s level of quality.
Master the art of Power Dressing
One of my favourite tricks to feeling more confident in what I wear is to find the clothes that make me feel the most powerful. This is going to be completely different for each individual woman. As a result, there is no direct way to take in order for you to find your power pieces. It’s a personal journey that is going to take some time, patience and lots of experimentation.
Through my own personal experimentation, I have found that I feel powerful when I’m wearing a pair of heels and showing off my waist. This is due to once being overweight and hiding my body in baggy clothes and oversized jackets. Therefore, I feel empowered wearing something that makes me feel proud of the body I worked so hard for.
It should come as no surprise that I felt utterly euphoric in this stunning dress ( No. PS1965 ) gifted to me by Portia and Scarlett through New York Dress. Portia and Scarlett make the most incredible high end, high quality dresses that make you feel like a queen. Each garment fits the body perfectly and their iconic design gives any woman that incredible hourglass silhouette. Hence, why this is a great example of one of my own personal power pieces.
Power dressing is about allowing your personality to shine through. You are essentially putting your best self forward whilst staying true to who you are. It is about making up your own set of rules that are authentic to only you. Once you’ve found your mojo, that one outfit that makes you feel powerful, you can use this as a formula to create alternative outfits that make you feel just as good.
Start by asking what one piece makes you feel the most comfortable in yourself. Examine your wardrobe and try and think back on a time when you felt totally bad-ass.
Pay attention to fit
Despite what you may believe, hiding your body in oversized clothes isn’t going to make you feel more comfortable in your skin. It’s actually going to do the opposite.
It is important to ignore the sizes and focus on how the clothing actually fits your body. Squeezing into a top, two sizes too small is going to do more harm than good for your self-confidence. Believe me, I’ve been there. After finally pulling those tight jeans over your knees and struggling to get them any further. I would look in the mirror and proceed to tell myself how pathetic I was for not being able to conquer a mere piece of denim. It is extremely detrimental to your self esteem.
Likewise, covering your body in clothes that are double your usual size, isn’t going to be much help for your confidence either. You are essentially feeding that voice inside of you that’s telling you you’re too this or that to wear something that is more revealing. You are making the statement that it is right to be ashamed of your body. I’m here to tell your right now that you’re beautiful and deserve so much more.
Wearing clothes that fit you well, will make you appreciate your body more. When you wear something that is tailored for your body, your figure is going to look more attractive as you are wearing clothes that look like they were made for you. You will feel liberated as you are no longer going to need to cover up the body parts that are falling out of your ill-fitting, tight jeans.
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Find your signature
Developing something signature about your look is a sure way to feel more confident every-time you leave your front door. Even if you feel like you don’t have the most vibrant style, you can still make your look you. It doesn’t have to be something bold or eccentric. It could simply be a sleek ponytail and winged eye, like Ariana Grande, or Anna Wintour with her bob.
Finding a signature look is about creating a memorable focal point: good glasses, clever lipstick or waist-accentuating trousers. Admittedly, I’m still trying to develop mine so this isn’t something you’re going to be able to achieve in a day.
My favourite way to finding your special ‘thing’ is to imagine yourself as a cartoon character. Characters in cartoons, are often drawn with one outfit that they wear most of the time. It is about asking yourself what one outfit you would be happy to wear for the rest of you life. From there you can pinpoint certain keywords or fashion pieces to help you find your signature look.
Click here to download my workbook to help you develop a personal style that you absolutely love.
Hold your head high, own your look.
The common saying ‘fake it ’til you make it’ comes to mind here. However, a lot of the time, it’s all in your head and you just simply need to keep going until you start to believe what you are telling others. It’s important to remember that the voice telling you you’re not good enough, brave enough or pretty enough to wear something you adore, is just a voice. Despite how real it may feel, it’s just in your head.
Instead of walking down the street and telling yourself, you can’t possibly feel good in what you are wearing, I want you to own your look. Hold you head high and believe that you are making great sartorial decisions. Once you have mastered all the above steps, don’t allow yourself to waver. Create a new voice, one that is positive and tells you how awesome you are. If you truly feel uncomfortable in what you are wearing, don’t worry! Simply use it as a learning curve and keep experimenting. Unless, however, that discomfort is from a lack of self-esteem and you still really want to wear that clothing. In which case, I would suggest to keep pushing yourself out of your comfort zone until you start to see what other are seeing; how unique and special your personal style as well as your glowing personality.
It’s difficult to explain that euphoric moment when you are staring at your own reflection and feel nothing but pride, satisfaction and elation. Your once criticised twin stares back at you and you wonder why you were so cruel to yourself. Achieving an outfit that makes you feel like the fairest of them all, is entirely possible. Hopefully with these above tips and advice, you can finally find peace with what you are wearing.
It is time to stop using the mirror as a weapon of mass destruction to point out all the things you don’t like. If you don’t like how you are dressing yourself then stop making excuses and change it! Life is too short not to wear what you like and feel good about yourself in what you are wearing. Uncover your own empowering ensemble and The sky is the limit!
Do you have any tips on how to feel confident in what you wear?